Almost a year later....

Almost a year later and I have found my answer.... it is time for me to move on.  As moving day approaches, my stomach is tied in knots.  Another move, another adjustment.  Or is it, a new opportunity, a new adventure?  The truth is, it is all about perspective.  Moving to the NYC area was an adventure, an exciting new time in my life.  Moving to the Washington DC area is about embarking on what I have found out about myself in NYC.  I discovered who I am and what I want.  Transition and change are scary even if it is a great thing.  Once again letting go of what is familiar to exchange it for the chance to discover and make another familiar.  Here I am, all packed up.... anticipating...

Big decision on the horizon.....

Is it that I am not accepting and realize I really enjoy the life I am living or is it that I am afraid to live the life I want to live?  Have I completely lost myself in my career because I really am not happy with the way my personal life has gone?  Am I afraid to have quiet time to enjoy life because I just don't want to face the life that has let me down?  These questions are brought about by a big decision I will be making in the coming days.  I have an amazing opportunity to embark on an amazing adventure and help people at the same time, but I am afraid to take that step.  I am afraid of the unknown, I am afraid of feeling vulnerable and out of control.  Fear can be paralizing, yet pulls me into a deep contemplation.  What is my next step?  I stand here at a cross road, looking in both directions and wondering where each path will take me.  Now, I ask myself, which path will I choose?

Old Friends... New Friends...

As I am coming upon 3 years in my diggs, I am realizing that the people I meet here are nothing like the people who I grew up with.  There is something about growing up in a small community (which has its advantages and disadvantages) and sharing those life milestones that shape you as an adult.  To my surprise, the relationships that I left in Wisconsin, have only grown stronger since moving.  As social networking sites have emerged, keeping in touch is now at my fingertips.  The new people I meet here have no idea who I am unless I tell them.  The people who I grew up with shared those life experiences with me and words are not needed.  This poses a challenge for me.  I long for those in my new life to know me, however, have not experienced the real shaping events that took place in my life.  I find myself feeling disconnected and sad at times because most people here just don't "get me".  Whether I tell people I lost my father at a young age or survived a horrific life threatening illness, I find that I truly miss being surrounded by those who shared those experiences.  Telling and sharing are completely different.  The reality is, I have moved and started a new life here in NYC, but old friends have not been forgotten. In fact, I now treasure those people even more.  I continue to make new friends and share adult life milestones here in my new home, but I no longer view it as a fresh start.  I am beginning to see it as a continuation of the life I am blessed with. :-)