Saturday, February 19, 2011

Feeling the Hate??

*Warning!! Soap Box Alert*!!!

How do you react when you come across a person who "seems" to have it all together and living the dream?  Are you happy for the person?  Are you jealous?  Are you jealous and hate?
As I meet new people and keep in touch with old friends, I observe people's reactions as I  describe my life.  The reactions range from extreme happiness to extreme obsessive dislike for me. For those who react with the latter,  many assumptions about me are made.  One being,  I am obsessed with being vainly thin. Another that comes to mind,  my life is and has been easy.  I have one word, REALLY??   Ok, humor me for a moment.  I am going to outline the major events of my life....

1975 - I was born into this world
1984 - Family business went bankrupt
         - My father died 3 months into the bankruptcy
1995 - Diagnosed with a severe pancreatic illness and ended up in the hospital for weeks
1996 - Diagnosed with Crohn's Disease
1997 - Surgery # 1,2
1998 - Surgery # 3, 4, 5, 6
         - Graduated with a Bachelor's degree
1999 - Surgery # 7, 8, 9
2000 - Surgery # 10, 11,12
2001 - Surgery # 13, 14
         - Married
         - Hospitalized for 4 months
         - Considered "Disabled" by the Federal Government = Not able to work due to "palliative" disease
2002 - Hospitalized for 6 months
         - NPO Status (nothing by mouth for 18 months)
         - Underwent Autologous Bone Marrow Transplantation
2005 - Returned to Work
2006 - Filed for Divorce
         - Surgery #15
2007 - Divorce Finalized
2008 - Entered Master's Degree Program
         - Moved from Milwaukee, WI to NYC
2010 - Graduated with a Master's Degree
         - Experienced a partial obstruction on a flight from NYC to Tampa, FL = Hosptialized for days


As much as I wish I were making part of that outline up, I did not.  I have had to fight and work for everything in my life.  Easy is not apart of my vocabulary, nor used to describe my life.  What I do have is motivation, determination, and perseverance.  Many of you do not know what it is like to lay in a hospital bed day after day realizing that the life you once dreamed of is over.  I had to face dying at 26 years old people!!  I had to face days of fevers over 105 degrees... when I closed my eyes, I wondered if I would wake up.
I challenge you to do this: The next time you meet someone or get back into touch with an old friend, pay attention to how you react to them.  If you feel any sort of jealously or dislike, consider the possibility that this person possesses the courage to live her dreams that you do not.  Own that realization and get off your butt and do something about it!! I challenge you to let people inspire you and learn from their determination.  Comparing yourself to another person is your choice, don't make it my problem!  Make sense??  My success and ability to overcome life's obstacles has nothing to do with your lack of.   The choices in my life have taken courage and risk.  I have made mistakes and failed at some things in my life, however, I have not let mistakes and failures determined my next steps.  I choose to live my life each day, just as everybody has that choice.  Own your choices!!  Don't blame others for what life has "dished" you.  I have bad days, I have sad days, I cry.. etc.  I am me, just as you are you.  Why hate on me for being me??????

1 comment:

  1. i have always been impressed by you, lyd! you're certainly an inspiration! (:
    "you are who you choose to be."
    love you!

    ReplyDelete