I never imagined I would be living here for 2 years and still with the single tag hanging off my ear. Not that I came here only to look for love, but it was part of the reason. I thought that maybe I would meet someone more worldly with experiences that he could teach me about. So far, I have come up empty handed. I am not one of those romanticists who dreams of a prince riding up on a white horse to save me from my life. Frankly, I like my life. What I am is a realist. A simple gesture like paying for a cab to take me home, drawing a bath for me after a tough day or planning a little surprise afternoon filled with coffee and a hike. A good friend of mine text me yesterday telling me, "Don't Settle, You deserve the Best!" I agree 100% with this, however, I am starting to doubt its existence. Does the best exist? Is someone strong enough to love me? If this man does not exist in NYC, where on earth does he exist?
I was speaking with one of my best east coast friends last night and we were talking about the ability of love to last. Is is realistic to think about living with another person for the rest of your life in peace and harmony? People change as they grow, therefore, is it realistic to think that one person can satisfy us for our entire lives? Is the simplicity of living the single life given up to quickly to live a life with someone else? Let's face it, when you live your life with someone else, joint decisions have to be made and both parties will not agree on everything. Being in a life partnership may mean giving up the power of choice, isn't that the definition of compromise? Relationships aren't all that different in NYC, in fact, they are similar to relationships all over. The bottom line question is.... is living with a partner worth giving up a single life full of doing whatever you want, whenever you want? I think the answer to this question can definitely be answered in a different way living in NYC.....
Personally I think that too much compromise and giving up personal power are the reason why so many relationships fail. Simply put, once we find someone that you connect with, relate well to, and have attraction for... we screw it all up by being PC and sacrificing and compromising and that, in the end, is what makes us "change". When you find someone, stay real, stay who you are, and most importantly find someone that will accept you for who you are when you find them as well as someone that you accept as they are when you find them. Good luck :D
ReplyDeleteSomething I've worked to realize is that I'll be OK with or without a relationship. Knowing that gives you the freedom to "not settle for less", since you don't 'need' the relationship but rather 'want' the relationship. Also, I think it helps your partner too, in that they're not being charged with making sure you're standing upright, though their presence and support helps you to (I think this is the difference between co-dependency and co-reliance). My step 1 was knowing I'm gonna be aight in or out of a relationship. When that doesn't work, I try binge drinking instead (j/k ;-)
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