26 Years ago.....

this is the day my life changed forever.  A little girl lost her daddy.  That little girl was me.  I was just 9 years old and this was the day I grew up overnight.  As I reflect back on the 26 years without my dad, there isn't a day that goes by I don't think about him and what he would think about what I have done with my life.  Would he be able to imagine his little girl in NYC?  Or, more realistic, could I have left him for the Big City? I fear that living in the big city will erase my roots as a daddy's girl who grew up on a farm.  When this fear paralyzes me, I want to pack up and move back.  Then I ask myself, what would my daddy do?  There is a part of me that wants to live near his memory, in Wisconsin.  But, do memories travel with me?  Will living in the big city erase the "daddy's girl" that lives deep inside of me?  Each question is only answered with another question.  There isn't anything easy about losing a parent at that age, the emptiness does not go away with age or change in location.  I do believe that Jack Rosenbaum is proud of his little girl.... if only I could hear that from him.  My day of sadness will pass  as it does every year with the welcoming of October 31st, however I can't stop to wonder how different my life would be if he were still with me.  Would I be here in NYC?  Would I have fought so hard for all my dreams to come true?  Again, only questions and no answers.